


The Differences Between Us

by Bombay



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-19
Updated: 2013-07-19
Packaged: 2017-12-20 17:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/889699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bombay/pseuds/Bombay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto doesn't know what to do with these feelings he feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Differences Between Us

**Author's Note:**

> This is really, really rough in terms of what I normally do. I wrote it when I was sleepy, but it's been so long since I've been in fandom that I just decided to post it anyway! Hopefully I'll be posting more fleshed-out works than this babbly drabbly thing.

Makoto was afraid of the deep end. As a kid, staring down into what seemed like an abyss scared him into taking refuge on the stairs while his friends merrily paddled in the shallow end. That was, except for Haruka. Makoto had always admired him, because even as a small child, Haruka had never been afraid of the water. He swam across the pool - shallow and deep - just as serenely as a fish.  
It was Coach Sasabe that taught Makoto backstroke. If the deep end scared Makoto so much, Coach Sasabe reasoned, then Makoto must learn to swim without looking at it. In return, he had to learn to trust the water to hold him, and learn to trust himself to not hit the walls. The former was quite a bit easier to manage than the latter, but even with the countless collisions as he perfected his stroke, his speed, his count, he loved backstroke. He would always admire Haruka's fearless desire for submersion, but Makoto would stay at the surface, trusting the water to hold him.  
A lot of people compared Rin and Haruka, but Makoto always thought that was unfair. They were so very, very different. Haruka wanted to be one with the water, to move through it as fluidly as anything built for it. That's why he swam freestyle, the fastest of the strokes. Not Rin - Rin swam for speed. Rin swam to conquer. Rin was aggressive, swimming as though he expected the water to bend to his will - and what's more, _it did_. It was fascinating to see the two swim side-by-side. Makoto, though, found himself feeling more than admiration - and something less than benign.  
Rin saw nobody but Haruka.  
Makoto knew. He knew he didn't have a chance. He didn't have the speed, power, and grace they possessed. They were in another league entirely. Makoto wanted to get stronger, if only for Rin to notice him, but he'd never be able to outstrip Haruka - not in freestyle. Even so, Rin wanted that relay, and it still took four to swim in one. What else could Makoto do but try to be the best first leg he could? They were still a team, after all, and if Rin only had eyes for Haruka, Makoto's closest friend, then he wasn't going to be the one to mess everything up. They were still all friends, and always would be.  
Right?  
  
Rin's words echoed painfully in Makoto's head, keeping him awake.  
 _"What are you still doing with these losers?"_  
Was that how Rin really saw him and Nagisa? Just extras to be cast off when he saw fit? He knew, all along, that Rin would never look at him the way he looked at Haruka, but he thought maybe, just maybe, he saw him as something more than just a pawn to be used. Didn't they used to be friends? Did the relay mean nothing?  
Possibly worse was what else Makoto knew: that Haruka was looking at Rin the same way. That obsessive personality… Rin meant a lot to him, enough to spark him into pushing himself, into racing.  
If it was for Haruka… If it was for Haruka, Makoto would do quite a lot. Very little made Haruka look alive like that, and if he could do something, he would, to see him look that alive for as long as possible.  
Even if that meant putting his own feelings aside and letting them be happy.  
  
The race was a surprise. What was Haruka even trying to pull? He let up and gave Rin the win - Makoto was sure of it. Why? It only managed to piss Rin off further. Perhaps it was a good thing they got caught when they did… Rin looked like he was going to say something he'd probably regret later.  
 _What did they do to you in Australia?_ Makoto wondered, longing to know what happened to the bright, happy child that took such joy in his skills. Why did Australia get such a promising child, only to send back an angry, bitter teenager who tore through the water like something that had offended him.  
 _When did you start to hate the water?_  
  
Makoto was determined to do anything - even laboring on a decrepit pool - to see that spark in Haruka's eyes again. He wanted his best friend to be happy - in the water, with Rin - he didn't care what it cost him. It would have to be Haruka, anyway, to get the old Rin back again. Makoto and Nagisa weren't even a blip on his radar - they didn't matter. They never would, not next to those two. It hurt, but it had always been true. He was never going to be in their league. Haruka deserved an equal, and Rin wasn't going to settle for anything less than the best.  
Makoto knew he was less than the best.  
  
"I'll make him take it back."  
Haruka's sudden seriousness startled Makoto as they walked home together. "…What?" he asked tentatively.  
"Rin. He called you a loser. I wanna make him take it back."  
Makoto went for a nervous chuckle, not sure what to make of this. "I-it's not a big deal, really. I mean, I'm not as good as you are, after all…"  
"You're not a loser," he said with finality.  
Makoto sighed.  "It's fine, Haru," he muttered. _He's never seen me, anyway._  
  
Makoto couldn't help but be nervous at the prospect of swimming with Samezuka. Would Rin swim with them? Would he ignore them? Would he challenge Haruka to another race - all out this time? He had to have known, after all, that Haruka let him win that time. He was so mad…  
It didn't surprise him one bit when Rin stepped out, deigning to not even bother with them. They weren't worth his time - they never would be. With two who couldn't win and one who didn't want to, Rin wasn't even going to give them the time of day.  
And their fourth member…didn't even know how to swim. Why they ever thought they could get Rin to look at them seriously, Makoto didn't know. But he supposed that it wasn't about winning or losing after all. Swimming with Haruka as kids, it was about having fun. It was about loving the water, the race, the thrill - everything. Not just winning. Would Rin ever be able to see that again?  
  
It was a tough race. Rin and Haruka were miles ahead of everyone else, but neck-and-neck with each other. In the intensity, nobody could tell who touched first, but the electronic touchpads laid the truth bare: .19 seconds difference. So close. Haruka won.  
They rushed to their teammate's block, excited and cheering. Like old times, Makoto lent a hand to Haruka.  
"That was amazing!"  
Haruka was breathing heavily and didn't answer. Instead, he looked over to Rin's lane. Nobody was there to cheer for him. He looked angry - and something else. Sad? Haruka walked over and lent his hand to Rin.  
"That was a good race," he said.  
Rin scowled and slapped his hand away. "I don't need your fucking _pity_."  
  
During intermission, Makoto sought out the Samezuka captain. "Do you know where Rin is?"  
"Matsuoka? Probably outside," he said with a shrug. "He doesn't hang out with the team much."  
"Really? Why not?"  
The captain shrugged. "I guess he's just used to going it alone. He doesn't mesh well with the others."  
"Ah…I see. Thank you."  
Makoto found the redhead pretty easily, considering. Rin had settled himself around the backside of the building, where almost nobody was. He looked so melancholy, knees drawn up, arms across them, as he stared out at nothing in particular.  
Makoto sat down next to him.  
"What are you doing here?" Rin barked, though without any real bite.  
"That was a really good race. You beat your seed time. Is that your best?"  
"Why do you care?"  
Makoto paused, then smiled. "Because…even if you call me a loser, I still think of you as my friend."  
Rin's scowl softened as he looked at Makoto. But only for a brief moment. He quickly looked away, anger replaced with annoyance.  
Makoto still saw it. "Haru does, too, you know."  
Rin flinched, but didn't say anything.  
"Are you happy, at least? With your new team, I mean."  
Rin's expression darkened. "How do you do it?" he asked softly. "How do you stay so far behind and still be happy?"  
"Eh? You mean swimming with Haru?" He smiles. "That's easy - even if I'm never going to be as good as he is, he still inspires me to do better. He never puts us down or mocks us or makes us feel inferior. He loves swimming for swimming's sake, and as long as we share that passion…it doesn't matter what the difference is between us."  
Rin gripped at his jacket sleeve and was silent for a few seconds before quietly saying, "You're lucky."  
"Eh? Why?"  
"To have somebody like Haru," he answered quickly. He got to his feet and walked off, leaving Makoto to puzzle out what he just said.  
 _Wait. Does he think…?_  
He resisted the  urge to smack his head back against the wall. Oh, this was going to be absolutely stupid if he was right.  
  
He started with Haruka.  
"Why did you lose the race when we broke in to Samezuka?"  
Haruka blinked. "Rin was faster, that was all."  
"I know you didn't want to hurt him again - were you trying to spare his feelings?"  
He couldn't look Makoto in the eyes. "I told you--"  
"Do you _like_ him?"  
Haruka looked like he'd never even considered it. "Do you?"  
Makoto couldn't keep the heat from rising to his face. "I asked you first!"  
Haruka shrugged. "Not as anything special. He's fun to swim with, but that's all."  
"…Seriously?"  
"I'd rather just swim, though. But you like him, right? You're always bringing him up."  
"Ah…" He sighed. "Yeah, I…I think I do. But…I think he thinks I like _you_."  
"Why would he think that?"  
That was a good question.  
  
At lunch, he asked Nagisa. "Why would Rin think I had a crush on Haru?"  
"Because you stick to him like goldfish poop," Nagisa answered plainly.  
"I do not!"  
"Do too."  
Makoto made a face. "I'm not doing this with you."  
Nagisa pouted. "Party-pooper."  
"I'm having a bigger problem here - I thought Haru liked Rin, but Haru thinks I like Rin, and Rin thinks I like Haru."  
Nagisa started laughing uncontrollably. "It's like a bad rom-com!" he managed to say between giggles. "Oh god - and _you've_ been trying to get Haru-chan and Rin-chan together, and…wait - so which one's right?"  
Makoto's face went red and Nagisa's lit up like a Christmas tree.  
"It's you - which one? It has to be Rin-chan, right? You don't have any problem seeing Haru-chan naked."  
"What's that got to do with anything?!"  
Nagisa just giggled, grinning like an imp. "Mako-chan and Rin-chan, sittin' in a tree~" he singsonged.  
"NAGISAAAAAAAA," Makoto cried, mortified.  
It was never a good idea to ask Nagisa anything.  
  
He'd have to clear this up once and for all. Haruka was way too dense to think to say anything, and Rin was too angry to _admit_ to anything, so it had to be Makoto.  
"Can I talk to Rin?" he asked the Samezuka captain.  
"Matsuoka quit," the captain said plainly. "At least it was after the invitational, but still, his timing sucks."  
"I-I see…" Makoto sighed. "Thank you anyway."  
"Yeah, no problem."  
Makoto walked back to the train station, trying to figure out how to fix this. He was lost in this muddled cloud when the train pulled up and emptied a few passengers out.  
"Makoto?" a familiar-but-unfamiliar voice snapped him out of it. He looked up from the bench.  
"Ah-- Rin?" Makoto blinked at him. Rin looked rather less…angry than the last time. Softer. More like his childhood self.  
"I quit Samezuka."  
"I heard from your captain."  
The train pulled away, leaving them alone under the shelter.  
"I mean, I quit the school. I'm transferring to Iwatobi next week."  
"What? Why?"  
"Because… Because I wanna swim for the sake of swimming. And…I wanna swim with you. Again."  
Makoto stared. "What about Haru…?"  
"I don't care about beating Haru anymore. We're two different beasts, y'know?"  
"Ah… You and I aren't exactly the same, either…" Makoto pointed out.  
"But it's like you said - if we share the same passion, it doesn't matter what the difference is between you and me." Rin's face had gotten a little redder.  
Makoto let himself smile. "That's right."  
"But…to you, what's the difference between me and Haru?"  
"Well, one of you tries to dive into fishtanks, and the other…I think I've liked ever since I saw him race."  
Rin's eyes widened. "Even after…all that? Everything I said to you guys?"  
"You wouldn't be transferring if you meant any of it."  
"Still…I should make it up to you."  
"I think I have an idea."  
  
It took a couple weeks, but it was worth it.  
"So does Rei get a crick in his neck giving you those hickies?"  
The simultaneous blustering from both Nagisa and Rei was glorious.


End file.
